What do I want for breakfast? Where do I want to go for coffee? Should I get anxious at this long queue, or just stand here, smile and enjoy my breathing? Should I honk and yell at the careless driver and angrily let her through?

These are some examples of choices we get to experience every day. At first we may think they seem irrelevant and insignificant choices. Please bear with me as you put on your beginner’s mind hat and hear me out.

These small choices are the ones that will shape and change our life. It’s not the big ones like marriage, buying a house, or moving to another country.

Habits are manifested from choosing a “bad” or a “good” choice. These habits become our behaviour, which in turn make up our personality.

Personality colours our perception, relationships, beliefs, and how we feel. In the end, we always have a choice. 1) A choice to suffer or 2) A choice to not suffer. Hopefully, with some loving awareness we opt for the choice that makes us suffer less. And, more importantly, make a choice! If we can’t decide, we also suffer.

Here are five choices I’ve taken, that have changed my life.

1) Accept

I know life isn’t fair. I have chosen to accept it for what it is and stop the blaming. I try my best to go with the flow of life, known as Wu Wei (“ooo-way)" in Taoism - the path with least resistance and effort by trying not to try. When I accept and see things as they really are and not force situations and people to change, I cultivate understanding and love within me. I suffer less when I have understanding of myself and others.

2) Feel Blessed

I sometimes call it the attitude of gratitude. Being able to wake up every morning is a miracle. Every morning when I wake up, I immediately smile and feel my breath coming in and out of my body for about 3-5 breaths. This makes me feel blessed for being alive, and readies me for a brand new day ahead.

After I step on the yoga mat or meditate, I always take a few moments to smile and express my gratitude to all the teachers before me, within me and after me for showing me this auspicious path - the path of wellness and healthy living. I then also carry this gratitude everywhere I go; the delicious coffee or tea in my hands, the meal before me, the cashier at the supermarket, the community I live in, and the people sitting across from me, especially my loved ones.

3) Speak Good Words

Good words increase good vibration and water my seeds of happiness, peace, and calm. I'm always the first receiver of my thoughts and speech. If my words are tainted and unkind then my heart is also tainted and unkind. If I'm skillful with my words and speak in a loving and gentle way, then my heart is also nourished in such kind and loving words, For example, if I gossip, use profanity or negative words such as “gross, disgusting, hate, stupid, blame” etc. I water my seeds of afflictions and the people in ear shot of me get them too. Please sit down and consciously write down words you would like to remove from your vocabulary and come up with new loving words you can use every day.

4) Walk the Talk

Honesty and integrity are two character traits that my mom and mindfulness have taught me. I know that when I say one thing and do something completely opposite or don't follow through with my words or actions, I’m really being untruthful to myself, my soul, my consciousness and my whole being. I also lower my own vibration and I don’t heal or grow in my spiritual practice.

5) Share Wisdom, Not Suffering

Every morning I sit and check in my capacity for the day. For example, I check in with my body, mind, and how I’m feeling each day.

If I’m suffering it means my capacity is low and I meditate longer and breathe deeply to take care of my pain. I know that it’s a state of mind and I need to come back to my mindful breathing. I also spend more time alone to breathe and be with my suffering. I heighten my awareness of my speech and I speak less. I do everything I can with all the mindfulness practices that I know to NOT let suffering defeat me or worse, spill this suffering onto others. Life is just too short to dwell in my suffering. Here’s an experiment, look up at the blue sky and try to frown. Not possible, right? Life really IS amazing and worth living for. We are alive everyday for a reason.

If my capacity is high, I spread my peace, love and joy to the people I encounter throughout the day. Even if it's just a smile or a nod of kindness. I have vowed to offer my good energy and good intentions as my signature wherever I go.

Transformation does not have to involve big choices in life. It is the day to day choices that have benefited and changed my life tremendously.

I also invite you to start by making a decision first, to suffer or to not suffer. If the choice you’ve chosen does not serve you or feel beneficial to you, at least then you have another choice to make. But if you don’t decide, you suffer. Please decide to live life to its fullest.

Choosing to smile and welcome life,
Hang